Losing in things that matter actually matters. Although there is a popular belief that the way through is to pretend they don't.
Loss of any sort really matters. Not for ever, but at the time. And what is worse and more damaging is suppression or denial after the fact. Refusing to recognize what the experience meant is the fast track to greater unhappiness – and sometimes not until much later on.
We might ignore it or make out it hasn't happened; a survival technique bought at a price. ( Karma is most active in the parts of our life that we push into the body's cellular memory and do not deal with emotionally through the conscious or rational feeling nature; the feeling nature does have a rationality, yes, all of its own).
To experience hurtful or painful (even damaging) life event is not the end of the world, it is actually a beginning. We are not talking about sticking around in an arrested stage of development like 'masochism' or 'martyrdom' - we are talking about the strength that comes from building upwards and outwards and adding in positives maybe missing previously. But if there is no admission of truth or self honesty then it doesn't happen. The reverse can happen instead: we begin to shrink the nervous system, the energy systems and the general balance.
Something suffers or dies within us when we reject what we have seen or where we have been. When we deny who we are at source. We are only what our experience makes us – we are no more and no less. It is what the physical realm is about. It might all be a hologram, it might just be moving atoms, it might be an illusion, but it is still the main theatre in which development is tangible and effects our body, mind and soul.
Losing in things that matter, matters! Losing what our heart tells us is someone or something that is actually a part of us, an intrinsic link to higher-self, is one of the most radically reforming experiences. Good or bad is relative only; in the metaphysical sense reform is reform, whatever way it seems to the personality.
Heart break, over varying periods of time and via convolute roads, regenerates us and we change.
This may be why romantics often translate suffering and difficulties into something more interesting and exciting. Why they welcome the challenges and pain in the 'tangled web' of love's journey. A kind of 'carrot and stick' thing which the soul employs to urge us on to greater understanding.
We are only as strong as our last great love, or our last meaningful relationship.
Passion is not something categorised by magazine quizzes or scripted by film makers, florists and novelists. It is something which each of us has, in bucket loads. We express it variously and colourfully in ways which are possibly high profile and graphic, or subtle and less obvious. A person devoted to whatever they do best with passion will excel when they are inspired by love, or moved by something within them, and although not the same thing as romance it is what the romantics are aiming for; the renewal of (or the rechargeable) energy which isn't easily described or contained and gives the reason or the purpose to life beyond mere survival.
If we lose the facility to understand or relate to this we lose something so fundamentally precious that we are crippled. It matters not how old we are or how limited by life in other ways. We must have something in our heart to connect us to the magical link between the vibrational energies of love and the vibrational energies of activity. Or we don't live in any real sense. We atrophy, shrivel and stagnate – until something arrives to shock-change all that. And in some lifetime, at some point, it invariably will. We will then call it tragedy or trauma or illness, but the effect will be from the same cause, maybe long forgotten (or suppressed).
To have lost in love is not the same as never having loved. It is another matter entirely. To have lost in love is important to note. Many people pretend not to have loved rather than admit to having lost. Is it better to have loved and lost than never loved at all?
The shame of losing is present now in a lot of society's unwritten laws. Sadness has become a euphemism for losing . But in the strength of the human emotional repertoire we need to have full experience of the negative as well as the positive. And sadness is part of something which transmutes us to something else and eventually into something stronger and higher. That which doesn't destroy us strengthens us.
If you lose in love then in the long run it is less painful to admit it. It's even harder not to decry or deny the love itself, to trivialise what was felt, what was happening and how it changed us. But in doing that we run the risk of dis-allowing ourself the right to a retry or maybe the chance to walk that way again.
Disappointment is part of life. Even disappointment in love is no different. Maybe especially disappointment in love! We cannot dictate to another person about how or what to feel. If we love and it's returned we are very blessed. If it is not returned we are still blessed but in a different sense, and it might take some time to understand that. Goethe said: 'If I love you it need not concern you'. What he probably meant was: 'don't feel it as pressure!'
The expectation or projection factor is a prelude to loss, since everything has to pass and change. The pressure we put on ourselves and others is enormous. But with lateral thinking it's easy to see that the loss factor becomes greater with the pressure.
It matters to lose something. It always will. But can we lose things in the same way ever again once we realize we don't own anything!
Loss always has a counterpart, it always has a compensatory nature. It doesn't matter how long ago it happened. The Law of Compensation (one of the seven Universal Laws) always pays out in some way. And if you missed it then go back and look, and claim it. The key is acknowledgement of the loss itself. Loss matters, sadness matters, pain matters. But they are not the end of the equation.
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