The question here isn't just why we sometimes find ourselves with or among people we don't really care for, those we actively dislike or find irritating .... the answer to that might be just summed up as 'life'.
The real question is why we find it necessary to stay around some of these people more than we actually care for.
We mostly gravitate towards or attract the people we love and like, but at some stages of our life that might not be as often as we attract the other sort. Do we then attract annoying people in order to grow? There is a world of difference in the way we separately feel about the two groups. It's evident that in spite of our best efforts we may find ourselves with people we simply put up with or tolerate who do not really warm us or inspire us.
Often our sense of duty and love of peace is at the route of it. Otherwise why is it we put up with the mediocre or the downright boring in others? ... kindness, conditioning, hidden agendas (yes possibly) or something else? Is there a deeper and less manageable level to it that has to do with something in the collective unconscious - given what we know about quantum and the dynamic of atoms attendant on consciousness and the connection to physical matter? Although that still doesn't explain the why of how it comes together.
Consider the fact that much of our ancestry spent time avoiding people they feared or were intimidated by - from near neighbours to outside interlopers and marauding invaders. It's not natural to just accept all-comers. Unless we're in the hospitality industry or some other business where welcomes are paid for. It is not normal to be trusting and and non-suspicious of everyone. In fact it's just plain stupid. It's one thing to give the benefit of the doubt, another to give it straight off and against our natural instincts. Our instincts and our intuition play a great part here, and we are back to that again.... our natural instinct to either like or dislike. More sensibly explained by attraction and repulsion. Quite often we are loathe to act on it, even when under great discomfort, and when we know that not acting upon it will lead to more of the same people with the same energies with the same dispiriting situations stretching ahead of us. These are usually in a dulled down setting; the low-key irritations and frustrations of one human rubbing another up the wrong way. It's that level which takes place in subtle and mundane situations, not high level volatile ones - that kind of thing reaches a climatic point and explodes and dissolves. No, these are the times when we smile through our teeth and listen to the same people boring us with the same words or the same stories, or practising their annoying habits of behaviour or just omitting the kind of vibration that is inimical in some way to our own (and we are not talking of the temporary schmoozing at parties and obligatory gatherings). These people may not be able to help it, probably don't know of it, but that does not answer the question of why we feel inclined to put up with it or keep repeating the exercise or stepping back into the situations which cause it.
So what does it say about us? It may say that we have a greater scheme to weave and that everyone has a part to play within that scheme, either in a personal sense or a trans-personal sense, to a lesser or larger extent. Energy takes many forms in different shades and different qualities and we receive in different ways as we need it; there is only one source of energy and it comes at us in many guises and a lot of it is down to what we can carry and how we can transform it or conduct it. It results from how our own personal energies are playing out. Our attractions will reflect what we expect, what we can cope with, who we really think we are. At times of low self-esteem or great fear, mediocre, boring - even stultifying or repressive presences - will appear from nowhere and we may be amazed, until we realize that cause and effect is as powerful here as everywhere else. It is not about how we observe and critique others or their world. It's about how we take shape in our own immediate and inner worlds.
If we are going more to hedonism as a society, which many believe we are, then we are getting more discerning, less tolerant, more honest in our reactions. It takes a brave person to walk away from someone who is trying to nail them with seemingly guileless charm or harmless sociability. Or to call a halt to an association which suddenly reveals itself to be all wrong and where only one of the parties realizes it. It remains hard to explain our ability to be sociable to a largely false degree with people who drive us cross-eyed with annoyance or threaten us with death by boredom. It's a subject we find no mileage in pursuing, unless we have a known agenda.
It's obvious that we cannot have both hedonism and old fashioned courtesy existing in our personal space at one and the same time and remain true to ourselves. The two are mutually exclusive. Respect is one thing, playing it against our comfort zones is entirely another. Forcing ourselves to go through wasted or frustrated hours of tedium and dispiriting experience is as likely to make us ill as breathing in toxic fumes or polluted air.
We do not want to go through years and years of just passing time with people who don't resonate with us. If we resonate well together we inspire each other and it's as simple as that. But perhaps we need the not-so-satisfying to cultivate a full appetite. Just as we need to taste bland food occasionally to appreciate the culinary highs. Perhaps we need to be reminded of how not to be! what not to become!
Stress usually results from enforced actions completed at the wrong time in the wrong way for the wrong reasons. We don't have to place too much emphasis on who we can and cannot take into our midst in our off duty times. If we do it that way our off-duty times become on-duty times and we are spiritually doomed. We should be ourselves. It's the only way we let others be the same.
It's likely that in a karmic sense, talking of past patterns and lifetimes, some of our enemies in the plot this time around don't get to do much more than just stop us from feeling good; the intolerable or insufferable in life may be simply karmic playback.
The real question is why we find it necessary to stay around some of these people more than we actually care for.
We mostly gravitate towards or attract the people we love and like, but at some stages of our life that might not be as often as we attract the other sort. Do we then attract annoying people in order to grow? There is a world of difference in the way we separately feel about the two groups. It's evident that in spite of our best efforts we may find ourselves with people we simply put up with or tolerate who do not really warm us or inspire us.
Often our sense of duty and love of peace is at the route of it. Otherwise why is it we put up with the mediocre or the downright boring in others? ... kindness, conditioning, hidden agendas (yes possibly) or something else? Is there a deeper and less manageable level to it that has to do with something in the collective unconscious - given what we know about quantum and the dynamic of atoms attendant on consciousness and the connection to physical matter? Although that still doesn't explain the why of how it comes together.
Consider the fact that much of our ancestry spent time avoiding people they feared or were intimidated by - from near neighbours to outside interlopers and marauding invaders. It's not natural to just accept all-comers. Unless we're in the hospitality industry or some other business where welcomes are paid for. It is not normal to be trusting and and non-suspicious of everyone. In fact it's just plain stupid. It's one thing to give the benefit of the doubt, another to give it straight off and against our natural instincts. Our instincts and our intuition play a great part here, and we are back to that again.... our natural instinct to either like or dislike. More sensibly explained by attraction and repulsion. Quite often we are loathe to act on it, even when under great discomfort, and when we know that not acting upon it will lead to more of the same people with the same energies with the same dispiriting situations stretching ahead of us. These are usually in a dulled down setting; the low-key irritations and frustrations of one human rubbing another up the wrong way. It's that level which takes place in subtle and mundane situations, not high level volatile ones - that kind of thing reaches a climatic point and explodes and dissolves. No, these are the times when we smile through our teeth and listen to the same people boring us with the same words or the same stories, or practising their annoying habits of behaviour or just omitting the kind of vibration that is inimical in some way to our own (and we are not talking of the temporary schmoozing at parties and obligatory gatherings). These people may not be able to help it, probably don't know of it, but that does not answer the question of why we feel inclined to put up with it or keep repeating the exercise or stepping back into the situations which cause it.
So what does it say about us? It may say that we have a greater scheme to weave and that everyone has a part to play within that scheme, either in a personal sense or a trans-personal sense, to a lesser or larger extent. Energy takes many forms in different shades and different qualities and we receive in different ways as we need it; there is only one source of energy and it comes at us in many guises and a lot of it is down to what we can carry and how we can transform it or conduct it. It results from how our own personal energies are playing out. Our attractions will reflect what we expect, what we can cope with, who we really think we are. At times of low self-esteem or great fear, mediocre, boring - even stultifying or repressive presences - will appear from nowhere and we may be amazed, until we realize that cause and effect is as powerful here as everywhere else. It is not about how we observe and critique others or their world. It's about how we take shape in our own immediate and inner worlds.
If we are going more to hedonism as a society, which many believe we are, then we are getting more discerning, less tolerant, more honest in our reactions. It takes a brave person to walk away from someone who is trying to nail them with seemingly guileless charm or harmless sociability. Or to call a halt to an association which suddenly reveals itself to be all wrong and where only one of the parties realizes it. It remains hard to explain our ability to be sociable to a largely false degree with people who drive us cross-eyed with annoyance or threaten us with death by boredom. It's a subject we find no mileage in pursuing, unless we have a known agenda.
It's obvious that we cannot have both hedonism and old fashioned courtesy existing in our personal space at one and the same time and remain true to ourselves. The two are mutually exclusive. Respect is one thing, playing it against our comfort zones is entirely another. Forcing ourselves to go through wasted or frustrated hours of tedium and dispiriting experience is as likely to make us ill as breathing in toxic fumes or polluted air.
We do not want to go through years and years of just passing time with people who don't resonate with us. If we resonate well together we inspire each other and it's as simple as that. But perhaps we need the not-so-satisfying to cultivate a full appetite. Just as we need to taste bland food occasionally to appreciate the culinary highs. Perhaps we need to be reminded of how not to be! what not to become!
Stress usually results from enforced actions completed at the wrong time in the wrong way for the wrong reasons. We don't have to place too much emphasis on who we can and cannot take into our midst in our off duty times. If we do it that way our off-duty times become on-duty times and we are spiritually doomed. We should be ourselves. It's the only way we let others be the same.
It's likely that in a karmic sense, talking of past patterns and lifetimes, some of our enemies in the plot this time around don't get to do much more than just stop us from feeling good; the intolerable or insufferable in life may be simply karmic playback.
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